How to Clean Dirty Feng Shui

A friend recently failed to clean his feng shui in a timely manner, and in a post elsewhere, online, has written:

 “I was cleaning my apartment again when I came across a pile of Feng Shui behind a box in the closet. I tried to take it out, thinking how fabulously Age of Aquarian it would be to have a pile of Feng Shui in my livingroom, but it had gone all soft and runny, and was beginning to take on the characteristic odor of rotting cucumbers and potatoes left too long unused in the vegetable drawer. If anyone has suggestions on how to clean gooey Feng Shui that has gone bad, please keep it to yourself, thank you.”

Lee has been seriously affected by the state of his bad feng shui, to the point where, in denial, he asks that “suggestions” on cleaning be kept to ourselves. This is a shame. We must intervene and help this great artist and poet. No one, absolutely no one, should be denied the benefits emotional, physical, and astral, that come from living with properly cleaned feng shui.

His plight inspired a haiku.

Oh, Lee McCormack.

Do not give feng shui the sack

Cleaning brings it back!


Accordingly, here is advice to Lee, and to anyone suffering from deteriorating feng shui. In best-case scenarios, your feng shui may simply need cleaning, which is something that should be done annually, at minimum. When was the last time you cleaned your feng shui? After your feng shui is clean, it may need re-energizing. That’s a slightly more complicated process, about which more later.

The four most often-used cleansing procedures:

One: Leave your fen shui in the moonlight or sunlight (depending on the energy it most needs – yin or yang.) If this method does not appeal to you, use the moon or sun energy to charge water to cleanse your cure. This basically means you leave your feng shui on top of a a container with water under moonlight and/or sunlight for at least 24 hours (best 72 hrs), and then your feng shui will be fine for another year. As an added benefit, you can use the water to clean the energy of almost anything.

Two: Smudging your feng shui with sage or good quality incense then leaving it on a candle lit home altar (Lee, you DO have a home altar, don’t you?) for at least 6-9 hours will also purify its energy.

Three: Salt is known for its purifying properties so you can use salt in cleaning your feng shui, but only if or when appropriate, of course! Never use anything but freshly-imported pink Tibetan salt. Grocery store salt is over-processed and often contains additives, and can actually damage fine feng shui.

Four: Some have achieved remarkable success by burying their feng shui with The Six Crystals™ in a silver box. Certain protocols must be followed for this method to work. See notes on timing at the end of this post. (The Six Crystals™ are available for purchase from Herr Dokktor Hodgson of Vast Tisburgh.)

While not applicable in Lee’s case, since he’s waited so long, you can make salt water from Pink Tibetan Salt, and use it for cleaning the surface of your feng shui. This is a good practice for maintaining your favorite feng shui, but MUST be done at least monthly.

IMPORTANT: Notes on timing. A 3 day period (72 hrs) is the typical time one would use to allow for the cleansing of feng shui; you can also use the 7 days period (168 hrs) if needed, in particularly difficult cases.

A detail that many fail to take into consideration is the moon cycle. Cleansing is best done when the moon is waning (the time between the full and the new moon).

Start the process of cleansing your feng shui when the energy of the day is at its highest peak (11AM to 1PM). NEVER start the cleansing process at night.

Once you have cleansed your feng shui, the next step is to energize it.

Energizing may be accomplished by visiting a specialist, such as Herr Dokktor Hodgson of Vast Tisburgh. Appointments, to be properly conducted, must be on the first day of the period of waning moon, during odd-numbered months only. You must be sure to bring your silver box with the Six Crystals™ cleaned feng shui inside. Box must NOT have been opened since the cleaning process. Nor may it have been kept where it might receive contaminating emanations.

Cash, credit or debit cards, or money order only. Bitcoin also accepted.


3 responses to “How to Clean Dirty Feng Shui

  1. The rains came, and overnight ‘magic’ appeared on the pile. It is the antidote, sent from God! Partake, eat slowly and Paradise will be restored. peloniusmonk

  2. Put it in the Tompostpile and see what wonders appear in a year.
    If that fails Herr Doctore will cure you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s